But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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