no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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