ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All I want is dick and wine.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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