Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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