i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
