Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
