I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
