i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
