my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
