GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Randomize
