My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
