normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
