You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
