he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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