ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
