What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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