babies were throwing up all over the place
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
