I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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