You were right. It hurts to walk today.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize