is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
