Ambien. No doubt about it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize