i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
