Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
