it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
