Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
