My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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