I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
