Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
