So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
