in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
