Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I have post one night stand depression
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
