we made out on top of his cat.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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