he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
