Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We are all done wearing pants today
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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