Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
