It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
