Come see our sink grown plant.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize