my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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