this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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