if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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