spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
