I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
