My liver just broke up with me...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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