I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
