Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
