Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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