Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
