Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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