the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
