Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
