She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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