took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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