i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
