Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  My cock was attacked by outdoor plants

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  (631): My cock was attacked by outdoor plants http://tfl.nu/04m9
  Replies (4) Good night (448) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.

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  (847): O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions. http://tfl.nu/w6f3
  Replies (17) Good night (1226) Bad night (3601) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...

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  (419): somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky... http://tfl.nu/anut
  Replies (22) Good night (2137) Bad night (3371) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning

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  (803): Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning http://tfl.nu/hoox
  Replies (25) Good night (4469) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.

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  (301): look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship. http://tfl.nu/j0tt
  Replies (13) Good night (6432) Bad night (1348) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"

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  (858): I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits" http://tfl.nu/l1ei
  Replies (29) Good night (4936) Bad night (1360) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.

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  (305): I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave. http://tfl.nu/m7xq
  Replies (16) Good night (11566) Bad night (759)
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  (714): View more from California

  Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?

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  (714): Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex? http://tfl.nu/9pxt
  Replies (11) Good night (4983) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just invented taco cereal.

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  (503): Just invented taco cereal. http://tfl.nu/md8j
  Replies (8) Good night (1426) Bad night (1825) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.

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  (270): We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/l81q
  Replies (7) Good night (3607) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard

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  (925): Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard http://tfl.nu/2caa
  Replies (14) Good night (3830) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed

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  (330): tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed http://tfl.nu/01ok
  Replies (22) Good night (1725) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.

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  (514): I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari. http://tfl.nu/cpgv
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (1139) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.

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  (978): we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on. http://tfl.nu/cjzk
  Replies (4) Good night (3203) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea

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  (250): He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea http://tfl.nu/7hkj
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (159)

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