I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
