3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart