in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
...so i touched it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
