I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Ladies don't puke and tell
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
