She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize