if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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