When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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