I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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