So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Randomize
