OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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