"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ketchup is God's man juice
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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